Defining loneliness is not about the company that is around you. Having a lot of people around you might mean you are popular and have someone to talk to but it does not mean that you have company worth your progress in life. There are several reasons why having company might still mean that you are lonely. Many people then wonder why they are sad or depressed yet they are surrounded by so many “friends”, “colleagues” and so much more. In this article we look at five reasons why having company might not mean that you are not lonely.
1. Different Goals different vision
If people around you have different goals in life from yours you might not have the right conversations that make you feel like you are sharing the right stuff. We tend to want to share and feel the sense of comfort that people understand what we are going through, but when we are surrounded by completely different goals we can feel lonely as there is no time to share and no one to understand.
2. Energy Focused on things we are cannot relate to
If your focus is to buy a house and the people you are hanging out with have no focus to buy any asset of any kind but are seemingly blowing money away you will feel lonely. What we spend our energy on together will determine who we consider as good or bad company. You need to be around people who make you feel like you are using your energy in the right direction.
Imagine you want to lose weight but your friends love to eat as they go out to fancy restaurants or do takeaways very often. When you feel like you are not using your energy for the right reasons you will always feel lonely.
3. You spend more time on other people’s goals than yours
If you find that you are spending more time on other people’s goals than your own, no matter who you are with or who is right in your life , you will feel lonely. Your goals matter but if they are compromised to meet other people’s goals, though you all have the same goals you will still lonely.
So let us say you and your friends what to travel but you are always travelling to their ideal places and rarely ever go to where you want, this can make your tired even though you are fulfilling your travelling dreams.
4. You are the one pushing all the time
Yes your might have company but if you are the one always pushing the people around you to achieve different objectives not only will you feel tired but you will be extremely lonely. The absence of a company that works just as hard can make you fell like you are giving everything and no one else is doing the same. Every vision needs company and it is best not to have company than to have company that you have to drag along with.
Loneliness is deeper when you have to create the waves of progress by yourself and then everyone rides on it.
5. No goals and just together
Misery loves company, and sometimes when people with no common ground come together then that lack of vision can quickly become the common ground. As a result in the motion of time, loneliness can creep in when you realize that you are not achieving anything as a group and all of a sudden you are tired of your “friends”. Who you are is a function of what you achieve, when you achieve nothing you will feel tired and lonely.
You might be surrounded by many people but may be lacking in any real meaningful progress.
Select your company
Next time you are looking for company, look at yourself and understand who you are. Rushing to make friends does not guarantee you not being lonely. Look around you and see who truly is the right company for you. Look at the people you spend your time with, measure if they are building you or simply there for social reasons. Yes we need to talk to people from time to time, but do not judge your company by the numbers that are around you.
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